


For the Wrong Reasons

by Uzumi



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, taako raises lup's and barry's children, very taako centric, with fun and not so fun issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uzumi/pseuds/Uzumi
Summary: Taako had woken up to a lot of weird situations. If he had to rank them, waking up in a foreign house with no memories of how he got there wouldn’t be on the list. Getting the offer to keep that house if he takes care of two baby half-elves, that was certainly more noteworthy.Raising (unbeknown to him) Barry’s and Lup’s twin daughters meant this wouldn’t be the last weird thing he’d wake up to.





	1. Exits

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @[thefourthpurpleone](https://thefourthpurpleone.tumblr.com/) for coming up with names for the children! 
> 
> This fic is inspired by [Heartstrings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11724408/chapters/26410440) by [Weevilo707](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707), which is a very good fic and I’d be surprised if you haven’t read it yet. But if you haven’t, go and read it. Do it.

Taako knew his sister well, courtesy of him being the self-proclaimed best brother in the interplanar system. She was unpredictable, but barely anything she did actually surprised him.

(Baring that one time she told him that she's becoming a lich. Oh boy.)

Less than a week after the Starblaster crew made their plan to split the light, she came to talk to him. Talk to him about her and Barry wanting to start a family.

Lup expected this to be a huge deal, was cautious about how she worded it. A century ago, when it was just the two of them, this would have been appropriate. He knew that Lup had always wanted to have a family, it wasn't a secret, but neither of them were able to provide a stable life. They were barely able to look after each other, how were they supposed to look after a child? (Also the part where neither of them had any healthy relationships before they joined the IPRE.)

Now, after Lup and Barry went through so much and came out more in love than ever, he realised that together they would make amazing parents. It took a few cycles until they reached the ideal plane. Cycles where Barry and Lup often talked about a future that they'd spend in peace, without having to run. And for the first time in a long while Taako had something to look forward to. 

Maybe he went a bit overboard in his excitement, reading too many books on child care. Maybe he also got too involved in the preparations, getting baby clothes, toys and other items together with the parents-to-be. Listen, Lup was his best friend and sister, Barry was his best friend and brother. If either of them wanted him to chill they'd tell him off. Barry wasn't as polite as he looked and the day Lup would keep an opinion to herself has yet to come. 

Taako could the best at anything he wanted to be, and now he intended to be the best uncle his nibling would have.

Niblings, as it turns out. Nieces to be more precisely. Two half-elves were born 18 months into their stay on Faerûn, longer than Lup and Taako have been anywhere in two centuries.

Month 22 into the cycle, Lup couldn't handle the guilt. Couldn’t bear watching the destruction that they had caused. Did not want to raise her daughters in the middle of a war. She would retrieve the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, hide it so it wouldn't be abused.

It wouldn't take long. She'd be back soon.

She couldn't wait seeing her family again.

Month 24.

Taako was _tired_. Barry was so fixated on finding Lup that he forgot to take care of himself. He hadn't been in any condition to take care of his daughters for weeks. So it became Taako's duty to look after him while keeping the babies healthy and content. As content as babies can be who basically lost both of their parents. 

None of their Starblaster family was prepared to take care of children. They tried to help but honestly, it was a risky idea to leave any of them alone for too long. Lucretia was too busy and kept forgetting about them. Davenport had been terrified of doing anything wrong while Merle was far too careless. Magnus would probably drop something on their head.

They tried to convince him to take a break, but it was hard to relax when he knew his sister was somewhere out there. She's a lich, she won't die that easily.

Taako was the best uncle in the interplanar system. He loves his nieces with all of his heart. But his sister, his heart, was _gone._ Barry couldn't find any trace. Taako couldn't find any trance, no time for sleep. And someone just started crying. Taako quickly calmed her down, just being near them helped. They were just seeking comfort, and if he was honest to himself, so was he.

It was early afternoon, so Taako put the kids in the levitating stroller and went out on deck. He hoped to find Magnus, out of all his useless friends he was the one who could be trusted with the kids while Taako prepared lunch. Instead he found Barry hunched over a table with a map.

“How’s it going?”

Barry startled awake and looked at him all confused.

“Uh…”

Taako repeated the question.

“Oh. I found this cave, where…”

Barry started pacing on the deck, explaining his findings (a cave) and how he was going to search it for Lup (by asking around first). Taako has heard it all before, but the least he could do for Barry was to listen to him, while he did the searching work for the two of them.

The least he could do for his sister was raising her children, apparently. God, Taako was looking forward to give her an earful once—

Taako lost trail of his thought.

Once what?

“Taako, what if she's just gone?”

“... Who?”

The man in front of him was panicking about something, which Taako could absolutely understand. Why were they so high up in the air? Oh fuck, hopefully they wouldn’t crash to the ground. Taako didn't know how to cast levitate, yet.  

“Taako, I'm begging you, please, just kill me! I will—”

He didn't know what he was doing but his arm moved on its own. A blast shot from his glaive— it was his glaive, right? Did he steal it from somewhere? It looked expensive, he had to have stolen it.

Also whose babies were those and _holy shit_ are babies supposed to cry that loudly?? He looked around for anyone who could be the parents but the ship's deck was deserted. Why wasn't anyone there? Who would leave their babies alone on some kind of ship?  

The kids were still crying by the time a young woman walked out on deck. Taako had attempted to calm them down but nothing helped. In the end, he had to give up and hold his ears close instead. Having sensible ears wasn't doing him any favours right now, his head  _hurt_.

“Are you their mum?”

The woman ignored him and tried to calm the babies instead. Taako noticed that the kids didn't look like her but he also didn't know what to do if this wasn't their mother. It was none of his business, right?

She gave up and casted a spell instead. The kids fell asleep in an instant.

And so did Taako.

* * *

 

Taako woke up in a house. This, by itself, should not be that uncommon to most people but the last time Taako was in a house that he was supposed to be in, had been a couple decades ago. He should be travelling with caravans or sleeping in an inn. Why was he in a house?

He really hoped he didn't get drunk and broke in.

The sun was already setting when Taako left the bedroom. It was a fairly small house, the bedroom led into a living quarter with high bookshelves which were only partially filled. Overall, there wasn't a lot of personality in this house, it was hard to believe that someone lived here. Not like Taako knew what it was like to live in a house, but if he’d own one, he’d decorate the shit out of it. The house had to be at least as extravagant as he was. This house was wasted on whoever owned it. 

There were noises coming from the kitchen and Taako contemplated whether he should talk to the person or run away before they noticed him. He decided to bite the bullet (what's a bullet?) and walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, uh, sorry for breaking in— I don't actually know if I broke in, I just woke up here. If I broke in, I don't remember doing that.” The woman looked just as confused as he felt. “Anyway, can you tell me where I am and I'll be out of your hair.”

The woman was sucking on her finger, that she apparently cut, while trying to collect herself.

“You, uh.” She stood more straight (and also pulled the finger out of her mouth). “Your name is Taako—”

“Yes,” he interrupted her.

“You're an amazing cook, you can turn simple ingredients into masterpiece—”

“Natch,” he did again which seemed to throw the woman off the script she had prepared.

“You have—,” she took a deep breath, “you grew up alone, handed from adult to adult until you decided to go out on your own.” Her discomfort was rivalled by Taako’s own, not knowing how to handle how much this total stranger _knew._

The woman walked out of the kitchen.

“You travelled with caravans. Without any place to call home. Until now.”

She walked towards a room he hadn't entered before. Taako had trouble following her in more than one way, but he was curious. So he entered the foreign room, it was painted in a friendly blue with toys lying on a comfortable looking rug. The woman was standing next to two cribs. Taako had a strong feeling where this was going, yet he still stepped forward.

“These are Ladda,” she showed to a sleeping baby, “and Medin,” an identical baby in the second crib. “Your children.”

Taako walked out of the room.

“Wait!”

“Nope.”

“No, Taako!”

“Listen,” he began, “you had some pretty accurate info on me. I'm both impressed and scared. How did you—? But you had a few significant mistakes.” He leaned closer to her as if he was telling a secret, while the woman sighed as if she knew exactly what was coming next. “I'm gay.”

“I know that, but—”

“I am also the biggest bottom in… Uh. In…?”

“Faerûn.”

“In Faerûn, exactly.”

“You had—”

“Most importantly though!” and she did look confused this time, there's more? “I never had sex! Ha! Find someone else to pawn your children off to! Taako's o-u-t.”

She wanted to say something, caught herself, looked confused for a moment and then asked, “How are you a virgin and the biggest bottom at the same time?”

“Listen,” he made a dramatic pause to give himself more time to think, “Being a bottom isn't just about being a bottom.”

She sighed deeply and then tried hiding a smile behind her hand. “Let's get back to the actual subject,” she instantly became more serious, “they're not my children.”

“And they're not my problem. Bye!”

The woman grabbed his arm and tried stopping him from leaving the house. Taako lost the strength contest to the surprise of nobody.

“Their parents died—”

“Suuure.”

“And I can't look after them. I don't have the time.”

“What a coincidence! Neither—”

“The orphanages here are terribly financed, they don't care about the children.”

“Then find some willing fucker who takes care of them.”

She grit her teeth, “I'm trying to.” _Oops._

“Yeah, not me. Nope. Nuh-uh. Me? Not parent material.”

“At least take a moment to consider it. Twins can be separated in orphanages because parents aren’t willing to adopt two children at once.”

This idea hurt Taako in a way he couldn't place. Why should he care about twins getting separated? They’re babies, they don’t know each other yet. And if they both get a nice family out of it, who cares.

Taako cared. And he hated it.

“You get this house,” she continued, she had definitely noticed Taako’s reaction to the whole orphanage thing, “I don't have the time to look after them but I'll pay child support!”

“Hm…” Taako took a moment to look around the house. Getting a free home would be a pretty nice deal, especially if he'd get paid on top of it. It wasn't worth taking care of twins, though. Twins would be a lot of work. Yet he was weirdly fond of the idea. 

“Tell me something about the parents,” he said to get a better picture of what he was dealing with.

He could of course accept the deal and then hand the kids to an orphanage after selling the house. He wasn't enough of a scumbag to fuck over two babies and a stranger, though. Orphanages were also out of question, he didn’t know why it bothered him so much. But he knew to trust his gut instincts, if it bothered him then he won’t consider the option. Someone had to adopt the two of them together.

“Uh,” the woman was not prepared to answer this question. “Their father is— was,” an obvious correction, “a human wizard who—”

“Wait, the father is human? And the mother…?”

“Elf.”

“Oh.”

The woman went back talking about the parents, praising them to be amazing people, but the situation was very clear to Taako. Just another case of humans and elves abandoning half-elves. Neither wanting to be responsible. He had met a lot of half-elves who went through this fate, and ended up on the same caravan as he and… and… he and the other people on the caravans. Yeah. They sometimes shared their stories of never fitting in and getting rejected by their own families.

Shit.

Those kids were _babies._ How could people stand being elfist— half-elfist? Racist. Towards children?

Oh fuck, he was getting attached.

He had to get out before it was too late. Heh, this was probably what some of his past guardians said when they handed Taako to someone else.

Oh.

Oh no.

He always told himself he would be better than his family was. But was he really?

(The woman was still talking while Taako tuned her out. If he had paid any attention, he’d notice that some of the words were static.)

It was very unlikely that Ladda and Medin would find a good home. Half-elves weren't… popular. He bit the inside of his cheek. Fuck this. The children were absolutely perfect and they'd show that to everyone. And if Taako had to support them, then so be it. He doesn't have any plans anyway and what are about two decades to an elf? He’d raise those children and move on.

“I'll take care of them,” he said full of spite. _Those parents will see what they're missing._

The woman was confused about the Interruption in her monologue. She was about to continue her tellings about Barry's third doctorate, when it finally dawned to her what Taako said.

“You will!?”

“Yeah, sure. No idea how to raise kids but other people do it all the time. How hard could it be?”

The woman deliberately didn't answer that question.

“That's perfect! Let me show you around the house and all the magical items! They should help you handle this more easily.”

She walked him through the basics of taking care of babies. To his own surprise, Taako knew more than the woman. He couldn’t remember ever taking care of children, but he got a lot of knowledge from various people who travelled with him. Some of them probably talked about this.

It didn't take long for her to explain everything she could. She promised him that she'd be back in a month with some gold.

Only when she left did Taako realise that she never introduced herself. Weird, he always knew the names of the people he talked to, but… he couldn’t remember ever asking anyone for their name. Oh well, he'll ask her next time. 


	2. Hush, My Darling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to post this chapter while this fic is still at 69 hits. It had to happen.

There weren't a lot of things Taako regretted. Sure, he had made mistakes in the past. Maybe he shouldn't have stolen money from a caravan he was still travelling with. Slacking off on his grandpa's farm had cost him a stable future, so that wasn't his best move either. But Taako didn't regret those things. Whatever, he'll deal with the consequences.

Now, at 7 am, with two babies who have only stopped crying to eat and take a naps, Taako was very close to regretting some decisions. He had no idea what was wrong. They didn't only cry if they're hungry or tired, they were crying constantly. They were clean, teething didn’t seem an issue, yet. Taako's neighbour, oh god he had neighbours, had visited him like an hour ago, but Taako snapped at him to fuck off.

Taako was in the middle of reading a book to them, something highly scientific that all three didn't understand, when Medin started fussing. Taako should not be relieved about a fussing baby, but it made her cry less and complain more so he’d take it. Still, her fussing around meant something was wrong and he needed to fix that. (Even if it meant the crying would return for no damn reason.) He picked her up and okay. Crying got louder. Wrong direction, or maybe right direction? Taako didn’t know.

It was around feeding time, at least if he accounted for their messed up schedule, now that they barely slept through the night. You know what, Taako would be crying in that situation, too. He fed her formula (what the hell was formula?) which calmed her down and she started yawning. Taako froze in place, fearing that any wrong movement might wake her up and make her cry again. But no. She straight up fell asleep. Another small success in his new parenting life.

He carefully placed Medin in the crib, with a magic silence toy that would mute any sounds from outside. No need for Ladda to wake her sister up. Talking about Ladda, she needed to eat too. Giving her the bottle was a lot more bothersome. Periodically she’d stop eating just to babble around, only to realise that she’s still kinda hungry and there’s still more to drink. The babbling would be a lot more adorable if it weren’t accompanied by random bouts of crying. Making her fall asleep was just as annoying, he had to pace through the whole house until she finally fell into a slumber and he could place her into her crib.

The silence was jarring, he made small sounds just to make sure that he didn't go deaf. He also checked on the babies multiple times, just to make sure they didn't disappear into nothing, while he thought about the situation. Their crying wasn't normal. Babies should not cry that much while being cared for, not for nearly 7 hours with only breaks for basic necessities. He went through the list of needs to figure out what might be lacking. He needed to fix this before he lost his sanity.

They were fed, the temperature in this room was appropriate (and he had tried giving them a warmer blanket), they got enough sleep. That were the most basic things, right?

Safety. Safety was a pretty important part of Taako's life but the kids shouldn't be aware of any dangers that are out there. They should be fine. Maybe it was too dark for them? He had to try keeping the room better lit. Maybe they struggled with change? This room looked like it was designed for them but it had very obviously never been used.

They could be missing their parents. Fuck. Taako didn't know how to fix that one. Let's hope it ain't that.

What else do people need? Affection? Babies need love, right? He could swear someone had told him that was important. (It probably weren't his guardians.) Taako did his best, though. He read them something (he needed more appropriate books for children, the scientific journals didn’t help making the kids feel at home), he held them, he talked to them. That had to be enough.

Right??

He needed somebody who knew how to take care of babies, this was getting ridiculous. Also possibly a healer to make sure they weren't hurt. They were too young to use healing potions on. Some kind of cleric was necessary.

For the last time, Taako checked if Medin and Ladda were still breathing. The silence was eerie but he should use the time to check out the town he was in. And possibly talk to his neighbour, he seemed friendly enough.

Taako walked outside and took in the town— no, village he was in. Yeah, this was a village at most. Taako hadn't been in one of those for decades, most caravans only visited them in passing. He once got kicked out of a caravan while he was in some tiny village, took him weeks to find back to civilisation.

He should have checked the location before he accepted the deal. Fuck. At least the houses were fairly spaced out, that should give him some sort of privacy.

His neighbour lived in a tiny cabin with a huge garden. The view of flowers and herbs made his heart ache in a way he couldn't place. Longing for something familiar, but there was no such thing. When he knocked on the cabin's door he expected someone and was severely disappointed by the human who walked out instead.

Who did he expect? He had seen this man a few hours ago. Of course he lived here.

“Oh, hey! Are you here to smack another door into my face? Gotta say, not the best introduction there, buddy.”

“Uh, no. No, I'm not. No, it wasn't. Listen, my kids— the kids— _my_ kids?”

The man's suspicion grew with each word.

“I adopted them so yeah, my kids, I guess.”

“Adopted.”

“Mmhm. So they've been crying since, uh, yesterday pretty much.”

“I heard.”

“I tried everything I know, but—”

“Have you tried giving them back to their parents?”

Taako was taken aback by this, “Huh?” Did this guy imply that he kidnapped the kids? “They pretty much begged me to take them! Should have taken _that_ as a hint.”

“And where are they now?”

“Fuck if I know, the lady disappeared as soon as I agreed to this. Said she'll be back in a month.”

“Who? The parents?”

“Eh. No? Not sure? Didn't ask for her name. White curly hair at about shoulder length, dark skin, about as tall as I am. Wore a red robe.”

The guy seemed to think for a moment while he looked over Taako.

“Yeah, that's the woman who fixed that house. Looked a lot worse before that, hadn't been inhibited in years.”

For a second Taako wondered if the woman had kidnapped the children and made him an accomplice. This whole situation? Definitely a mistake. Too late now, though.

“Okay. I kind of don't have a lot of time. Kids are napping right now—”

“So, that's why I was able to sleep!”

“Yeah, whatever. Do you have a cleric or something that could check on them?”

The man looked sheepishly to the side, “Not officially. I can offer some calming herbs, though! I've got—”

“Yeah, no. Most of these are poisonous to babies.” Somehow Taako was very sure on his knowledge on herbs. Huh, he must have picked up more than he expected during some of his travels. The man sighed.

“You should consider it if they don't stop screaming.”

“ _Poisoning them!?_ ”

“No! Just a bit… to calm them down.”

Taako was done arguing with him, he had no idea how much time he wasted here and how much he had left. “Who's your unofficial cleric?”

“Oh so you'd trust them but not me.”

“I don't know, yet.”  

The man pointed somewhere further down the road. “They're the blacksmith, can't miss the house.”

Taako mumbled a quick thanks and hurried off. A few people threw him curious glances on his way there, some stared openly. He already hated this place. At least it was easy to find the blacksmith, some of the equipment stood outside. Nobody was out there, though.

The door opened before Taako could knock, and a serious looking human was looking up to him.

“What?”

“Yes, hi. Are you a cleric?”

“Who's asking?”

“... Me?”

They rolled their eyes and stepped back into the house. Taako stepped into the doorway before they could consider closing the door.

“And you are…?”  

“Taako, you know, from T.V.?” Taako said naturally.

“I don't.”

Neither did Taako, to be quite honest.

“And you're?”

“Call me Sim.”

“Cool, cool. Sim, pal, I've heard you're like… an unofficial cleric, right?”

“Who you've heard that from?” they crossed their arms over their chest.

“Uh… I didn't ask 'em for a name. Not important! Honestly, I'm kind of in a hurry here,” Sim was about to say something but Taako didn't stop talking, “I've got two babies at home and they've been crying since… I don't know?”

“Midnight.”

“Oh. Yeah. Anyway. No idea what's the issue and you're a cleric so like.” Taako vaguely waved his hands around.

“You want me to cast Sleep.”

“What? No. They sleep just fine, it's the awake part that's the problem.” They looked concerned and Taako clarified, “I want you to check on them. Make sure they're not in pain or something.”

“Hm.” They thought about it while Taako looked around impatiently. He opened his mouth to say something but Sim immediately shushed him.

They finally sighed. “Sure, but I'm a self-taught cleric. Couldn't finish school because I got exiled,” and then muttered “twice”,  “Shouldn't be a problem, though.”

Taako went through a journey of facial expressions, “Uhm.”

They shoved him out of the doorway and walked outside, not bothering to lock the door. They started walking towards where Taako lived. He followed after some hesitation, not quite sure if this was a good idea.

“So… why did you get exiled?”

“Absolutely none of your business.”

“It kind of is, if I let you near the kids!”

“Nah, It's not related to that.” Whatever they meant with “that”.  

The babies were still asleep. Which, at least to Taako, was always a good thing. Especially, because he didn’t want them to wake up alone. They were already distressed enough as it was, no need to add abandoned issues. Taako took in a sharp breath, they probably had those. Better not think about it, not like he could do anything about it now. Instead, he offered Sim some breakfast til the babies wake up, which Sim gladly accepted.

They were looking around curiously while he prepared some French toast. Sim asked a suspicious amount of questions, that Taako suspiciously couldn’t answer. He had to make up stuff on the fly. Got this place from a friend. Taking care of her children because she couldn't do it. Oh, he loved children, you know? Always dreamed of being a stay at home dad, best thing that could have happened to him.

He begged for the kids to wake up and start screaming again so he could get out of the conversation.

Of course he regretted that wish once they actually did. Oh well, such is life. Taako led Sim to the twins’ room. He removed the magical artefacts that cast Silence, so they could hear him as he tried calming them down. Sim went over to Ladda as he tried calming down Medin. They held their hand open over her body and emitted a faint light.

“She's got a headache that is causing problems. Hm, I can heal it, but you need to pay attention to what could have caused this.”

“For sure.”

Sim murmured some healing words that calmed both children (and Taako) down immediately. Ladda curiously looked around and spotted the crib mobile hanging above her. Ladda let out a laugh as Taako sighed out in relief.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Taako said with a finally calm Medin in his arms, who has now started grabbing and pulling his hair. Ouch.

“Mmhm.”

“Nice. I owe you one… Except money, I have no idea if I've got money. Honestly, I don't even know how I got here, but—”

Sim waved him away as they headed out of the room, leaving Taako with the children. Then Medin scrunched her face, and Taako knew that face well. It was the face she made when she stopped eating and started crying again. Or the face when she woke up and started crying again. In general it meant, she was about to start crying again.

And oh boy, she did. It was almost louder than before, which seemed impossible. Ladda followed into her sister’s steps after only a moment and also began crying.   

“What the—?” asked Sim as they got back closer to the kids.

“I did nothing. Literally nothing! Is it something in this room?” The temperature felt fine, enough light, they ate before they napped so it shouldn't be that. Out of desperation to do _anything_ , Taako started changing their fantasy diapers.

Sim checked on both babies, “Their headache is back.”

Taako lied the now-changed Medin back down into her crib and grabbed Ladda. Sim tried healing again, which at first went as expected. Both calmed down, seemed content.

Ladda started crying first this time, while Taako was still changing her diaper. Medin at least had the courtesy to wait until he was done and brought Ladda back to her crib. That’s when her headache set in.

“I think it's you.”

“Huh?”

“Her headache came back when she saw you.”

“What the hell!? That's a really specific curse, my dude.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing…”

“Alright, let's try that. Science and shit. I don't actually know science but pscht. I'll leave the room, you'll heal them. We'll see if they start crying the moment they see me. Sounds like bullshit but at this point? I'm down to try it.”

Sim nodded.

Taako left the room with the door still open. He won't leave a stranger in his house where he couldn't see them. Sim did their magic again and joined Taako in the living room once the babies calmed down. Taako was anxiously looking at the room, almost hoping that they'd start crying again while Sim looked through the book collection.

“Where did you get these books from?”

“Eh, came with the house.”

Sim gave him a look of disbelief but Taako didn't care either way. They were just books, what's the worst that could be there?

The babies were making some noises but neither of them appeared to be distressed. Taako decided that enough time has passed and he stood up to get to their room.

“Wait, let me get them. Then we'll see if they react that way to both of us or just you.”

“Sure.”

Sim walked up to Ladda's crib and carefully picked her up while Taako kept a close eye on them. Ladda seemed to enjoy it and giggled happily which stopped pretty much in the moment she saw Taako. Her face scrunched up and Taako sighed in defeat.

This was going to be a lot of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I depend completely on online resources for baby related subjects. I hope the mistakes aren't glaring, but please hmu if anything written in this fic is dangerous for kids. 
> 
> Except deleting all memories related to their family, naturally.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @[nachtkissen](https://nachtkissen.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (please)


End file.
